Android engineers now reverse-engineer apps the fast way: unzip the APK, run JADX, paste the decompiled output into an LLM, and ask what the code does. It works alarmingly well — and it has a blind spot. LLMs reason over text. They don't execute the app, prove a call graph, or guarantee data-flow accuracy. That gap is a defensive opportunity. This talk is about obfuscation designed specifically for how LLMs read code. I'll walk through four source-level techniques — context-window exhaustion, working-memory saturation, token confusion (Unicode homoglyphs and zero-width characters), and comment misdirection — and then the strongest tool in the stack: bytecode virtualization, which moves sensitive logic out of source-like control flow entirely and leaves an LLM staring at a generic interpreter loop over opaque bytes. To test whether any of this actually matters, I built a synthetic banking app that combined these techniques, shipped it as an R8-minified release APK, decompiled it with JADX, and handed only that output to a frontier model. It did not recover the real embedded key. It confidently reported a decoy instead — it trusted an incomplete decompiled view over the bytecode and stopped too early. I'll be honest about the limit: this is not real secrecy. A skilled human with runtime tracing still wins, and you should never ship real secrets client-side. The win is different, and it's the whole point — friction, delay, higher analyst cost, and forcing an attacker off the "paste into an LLM" shortcut and back into real reverse engineering. You'll leave knowing: Why LLM-assisted reverse engineering succeeds, and the specific weaknesses it inherits from being text-only Four concrete, fully reversible obfuscation techniques you can reason about and apply selectively How bytecode virtualization blinds LLM-only static review — and what it costs you at runtime How to treat client-side protection as an economic problem (raising cost-to-objective) rather than as secrecy Where this is worth it (high-value logic only) and where it's wasted effort